Recognising and Helping Young Children with Anxiety: Signs and Strategies

There is no doubt that events over the last year have affected everyone.  No one has been immune. 

Research conducted by Oxford University over the first Lockdown period revealed that parents of younger children reportedly experienced greater difficulties during this period, with changes in behaviour being the most commonly cited complaint. 

Mental Health difficulties amongst children were on the rise before the pandemic, however.  Place 2 Be found that 1 in 6 children and young people have a diagnosable mental health problem and that 50% of those with a lifetime mental health problem first experience symptoms before the age of 14.

So if you’ve got young children, i.e. reception aged, pre-school or below, how do you go about firstly recognising if they are experiencing anxiety and secondly, what can you do about it?

Firstly, lets break down the signs and symptoms of anxiety and how they might present in young children.

Young children may often report physical symptoms.  These can range from headaches to sweating.  Other physical symptoms include:

• Tummy aches

• Restlessness

• Fidgeting

• Easily distracted

• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep

• Tense muscles

• Refusal to use the bathroom anywhere but home

• Refusal to eat anywhere but home

Emotional signs that a young child may be experiencing anxiety include:

• Frequent crying

• Nightmares

• Irritable without a clear reason

• Afraid of making mistakes

• Worries about the future

• Worries about being separated from parents

Changes in behaviour can also indicate a child may be experiencing anxiety.  Changes in behaviour can include:

• Avoiding situations with other children

• Avoids joining in, in class

• Refusing to leave parents

• Declaring they can’t do something without a real reason

• Asking frequent “what if” questions

• Meltdowns

• Tantrums

• School refusal

If you think your child might be experiencing anxiety there are things you can do to help. 

At moments when your child is not experiencing anxiety sit down with them and work through the following ideas.

Talk about anxiety

What is anxiety? What does this mean to them? When do they experience it? What does it feel like in their body? Does their body feel different when they are anxious to when they are relaxed?  Do their thoughts change when they are anxious?  What things make they feel anxious now? What things have made them feel anxious in the past?

Learn to recognise the signs of anxiety

Explaining the different anxiety symptoms, especially the physical ones can be very reassuring for children. 

If they understand feeling sick, tummy ache, headaches, racing heart etc is to do with the anxiety, this can make it feel less frightening when they occur. 

Find activities that reduce their anxiety

It might be initially that your child does not know what helps to reduce their anxiety.  Sit down together and draw up a big list of different activities. 

This could include drawing, painting, making something, baking, going for a walk, riding their bike, playing in the garden, writing in a journal, talking to you, their friends, grandparents etc, cuddling a favourite teddy, dancing, listening to a favourite song, watching a favourite film/tv programme, playing a game, cooking, having a shower/bath, painting their nails etc. 

Try them out and see which ones work.  Then you will have a list of different things to try next time your child’s anxiety starts to rise.

Encourage them to look after their physical health

Eating healthy foods, cutting down on sugar, not drinking caffeinated drinks, engaging in regular exercise and having the opportunity to get enough sleep is so important for not just helping once we are experiencing anxiety, but also in promoting wellbeing in general.

Learn how to relax through yoga and breathing

Learning to breathe deeply is a fantastic way for children and adults to reduce anxiety as it actively tells our brain to reverse the flight or fight response.  There are some wonderful breathing exercises to try from pretending to blow the steam off a hot cup of hot chocolate, the breathing in and out as you trace your finger up and down your hand.  Likewise, YouTube is full of great yoga videos for young and old kids.  Cosmic Kids is a particular favourite in our house – particularly the Trolls episode!

Make a worry monster

You can buy a worry monster now, but why not spend some time with your child and make your own?  The aim of a worry monster is that your child has somewhere physical for their worries to be held, so they are no longer in their heads.  They can add their worries at the end of every day (a bit like “worry time” a concept used to help adults with worry).

Seek professional support

If you or your child’s school are still worried about their anxiety then seek professional support. 

Written by Dr Alexandra Barnett.

Counselling Psychologist. My Therapist Online

Expert in online delivery of therapy.

THERAPY . ANYTIME . ANYWHERE