Shifting Unhelpful Thinking with CBT Therapy: Overcoming All-or-Nothing Thinking

Black-and-white thinking, is also known as "all-or-nothing" or "dichotomous" thinking is a common type of unhelpful thinking style that I see show up in my therapy sessions. When thinking in a Black-and-white way, we might views situations, people, or events as either completely good or completely bad, with no room for shades of grey or complexity.

Unhelpful thinking styles refer to patterns of thinking that can lead to negative emotions, behaviours, and outcomes. These patterns can include Black and white, catastrophising or mind reading.

Catastrophising, is where we imagine the worst possible outcomes of a situation and mind reading, is where we assume we know what others are thinking without any evidence.

All of these patterns of negative thinking can be a cause of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and other mental health problems. It is therefore important to recognise and address these patterns in order to develop healthier ways of thinking and coping with life's challenges.

Black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking involves seeing things in absolute terms, with no room for nuance or grey areas. Here are some examples of this type of thinking:

• "I'm either perfect or a failure."

• "If I don't get an A on this test, I'm a complete idiot."

• "I always mess things up; I'll never get it right."

• "If I'm not the best, then I'm the worst."

• "If he doesn't love me, then he must hate me."

• "If I can't do something perfectly, then I shouldn't do it at all."

• "If someone disagrees with me, then they're against me."

• "Either everything goes my way, or everything is terrible."

  
  

These statements, but with a catastrophic thinking style could look like:

• "If I'm not perfect, then I'm a complete failure."

• "If I don't get an A on this test, it will be a total disaster."

• "I'm always making mistakes; I'll never be able to do anything correctly."

• "If I'm not the best, then I'm a total failure."

• "If he doesn't love me, then he must despise me."

• "If I can't do something flawlessly, then it's not even worth trying."

• "If someone disagrees with me, then they're my enemy."

• "If one thing goes wrong, then everything is ruined."

As you read these type of statements, how do they make you feel? What impact might these have on your mood or your behaviours?

What is the impact of this type of thinking?

This type of thinking can lead to problems with mental health for several reasons. Firstly, it can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. When a person thinks in black-and-white terms, they may see any mistake or misstep as a complete failure, leading to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. This can cause significant stress and anxiety, particularly when the stakes are high.

Secondly, black-and-white thinking can lead to an inflexible approach to problem-solving. When a person views situations in terms of either/or, they may struggle to see alternative solutions or consider other perspectives. This can make it difficult to cope with change or adapt to new situations, leading to feelings of frustration and even depression.

Black-and-white thinking can also lead to strained relationships with others. When a person views others as either all good or all bad, they may struggle to develop empathy or understanding for those who have different views or beliefs. This can lead to conflict and even social isolation, which can impact mental health.

Overall, black-and-white thinking can cause problems with mental health by leading to unnecessary stress and anxiety, inflexibility, and strained relationships with others.

How can we address this type of thinking?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a therapeutic approach that can help people change their extreme and black-and-white thinking patterns by challenging and replacing their negative or distorted thoughts with more realistic and flexible ones. Through CBT, individuals can learn to identify their automatic thoughts and beliefs that contribute to their extreme and inflexible thinking, examine the evidence that supports or contradicts those thoughts, and reframe them in a more balanced and adaptive way.

By developing these skills, individuals can reduce their cognitive distortions and improve their ability to cope with challenges and stressors in a more flexible and effective manner.

Challenging All-or-Nothing Thinking

By learning to challenge and reframe black-and-white, all-or-nothing thoughts, we can develop more balanced and realistic thinking patterns, which can lead to improved mood, self-esteem, and overall well-being.

A CBT therapist may use several questions to challenge all-or-nothing thinking and help their clients develop more balanced and realistic perspectives. Here are some examples of questions that a CBT therapist may ask:

• What evidence do you have to support this all-or-nothing thought?

• What are some alternative explanations for the situation?

• How likely is it that this extreme outcome will occur?

• Are there any shades of grey in this situation?

• How would someone else view this situation? What would they say?

• What is the worst-case scenario, and how could you cope with it?

• What is the best-case scenario, and how realistic is it?

• Are there any exceptions to this all-or-nothing thinking?

• What would happen if you approached this situation with a more balanced perspective?

• What advice would you give to a friend who was thinking in this way?

By encouraging clients to ask these types of questions, a CBT therapist can help them develop more flexible and adaptive thinking patterns, which can lead to improved mood and well-being.

How bringing developing more compassionate perspectives help?

Compassionate mind training is typically used along side CBT. Using compassion can be a helpful approach to reframe all-or-nothing thinking styles. When we practice self-compassion, we are more likely to view ourselves and our situations in a more balanced and realistic way.

Compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and non-judgment, which can help individuals let go of rigid, black-and-white thinking patterns.

• Encouraging self-acceptance - When we practice self-compassion, we can accept ourselves for who we are, including our strengths and weaknesses, instead of focusing only on our flaws or mistakes.

• Challenging negative self-talk - Compassion can help us recognise when we are engaging in negative self-talk and challenge those thoughts with more balanced and realistic perspectives.

• Fostering flexibility - When we are more compassionate towards ourselves, we are more likely to approach situations with an open and flexible mindset, which can help them find solutions and cope with challenges more effectively.

• Reducing self-criticism - Compassion can help us reduce our self-criticism and develop a more positive and supportive inner dialogue, which can improve a person’s self-esteem and overall well-being.

Using compassion can be a powerful tool to reframe all-or-nothing thinking styles and help individuals develop more balanced, realistic, and adaptive perspectives.

Examples of a compassionate perspective to the above black-and-white statements:

• "It's okay if I'm not perfect. Success can come from learning, growing, and doing the best that I can."

• "I don't have to be flawless to achieve my goals. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and I can embrace my imperfections and focus on my progress."

• "I am worthy of success even if I make mistakes. Being perfect is not a requirement for happiness and fulfillment."

• "I can be proud of myself for trying, even if I don't get everything right. My efforts and progress are what matter, not perfection."

These statements are more compassionate because they acknowledge the challenges of perfectionism, validate our feelings, and offer supportive and encouraging alternatives to all-or-nothing thinking. They remind the us that they are worthy of success and happiness, regardless of our imperfections, and encourage us to embrace a growth mindset that values progress and learning over perfection.

You can read more about Compassionate Focused Therapy (CFT) and find out which therapists specialise in the use of CFT in their practice here - Compassionate Focused Therapy.

How can Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help address Black-and-White thinking patterns?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of psychotherapy typically used alongside CBT that can be helpful in addressing negative thought patterns, by promoting mindfulness, acceptance, values, and psychological flexibility.

ACT is based on the idea that suffering arises from the struggle to control or avoid unwanted thoughts, emotions, and experiences. The goal of ACT is to help us to develop psychological flexibility.

Here are some ways that ACT can help address all-or-nothing thinking:

• Promoting mindfulness - ACT emphasises the practice of mindfulness, which involves being present and non-judgmental of one's thoughts and experiences. By practicing mindfulness, we can learn to observe all-or-nothing thoughts without getting caught up in them or trying to suppress them.

  This observational response helps to diffuse the strength of emotions that come with this type of thinking and create enough space to feel like we have a choice about how we move forwards when they do show up.

• Encouraging acceptance - ACT emphasises the importance of accepting unwanted thoughts and emotions, rather than trying to control or avoid them. Acceptance does not mean we agree or like this type of thinking, but it can help us as we try to develop more balanced and helpful perspectives.

• Identifying values - ACT helps us to identify their values and goals, which can provide a sense of direction and purpose. By focusing on values and taking steps towards valued actions, and therefore away from rigid, all-or-nothing thinking patterns.

  
  

You can read more about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and find out which therapists specialise in the use of ACT in their practice here - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Examples of reframed thoughts

Here are some examples of how the above black-and-white, all-or-nothing thoughts can be reframed into more fair, helpful, and compassionate perspectives using some of the CBT tools discussed:

• "Nobody's perfect, and I don't have to be perfect to be successful."

• "Getting a lower grade doesn't mean I'm a failure. It's just one test, and I can learn from my mistakes and do better next time."

• "I've made mistakes before, but I've also done things well. Nobody is perfect, and I'm still learning and growing."

• "I don't have to be the best to be valuable. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and I can focus on my own progress and growth."

• "There are many reasons why someone might not love me, and it doesn't mean they hate me. I can still be kind and compassionate towards myself and others."

• "It's okay to make mistakes, and I can still learn and grow even if I don't do something perfectly."

• "Just because someone disagrees with me, it doesn't mean they're against me. Everyone has their own perspective, and I can listen and try to understand their point of view."

• "Life is full of ups and downs, and I can cope with challenges and setbacks by focusing on the things that matter to me and finding ways to adapt and grow."

Learning CBT skills including ACT and CFT enables us to develop more balanced and flexible ways of thinking, improving our mood, reducing stress, and enhancing relationships. These skills can be used to challenge all-or-nothing thinking patterns, modify negative thought patterns, and develop effective coping strategies. By investing in learning these therapeutic skills, we take an active role in maintaining our mental wellbeing, enhancing resilience, and building a positive mindset to face life's challenges.

Have a look below or at our website page ‘types of therapy explained’ pages for recommendations of some great self help books you can use to guide you further or get in touch if you would like to speak to an expert. We will match you with the right specialist for your individual need , budget and availability.

I hope you found this article helpful.

Lisa Johnston

CBT & EMDR Therapist

Director My Therapist Online

Recommended reading for helping you address unhelpful thinking styles

• Self Help CBT Cognitive Behavior Therapy Training Course & Toolbox 2021 Edition: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Book for Anger Management, Depression, Social Anxiety, OCD and more

• The CBT Handbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Using CBT to Overcome Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Low Self-Esteem and Anger: A comprehensive guide to ... to overcome depression, anxiety and anger.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

• Eliminate Negative Thinking: How to Overcome Negativity, Control Your Thoughts, And Stop Overthinking. Shift Your Focus into Positive Thinking, Self-Acceptance, And Radical Self Love

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