Perfectionism Therapy
Do you set yourself excessively high standards?
Are you overly critical of yourself?
Do you find yourself putting off starting a task?
Do you struggle to accept compliments or positive feedback?
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism refers to the habit of setting extremely high expectations for oneself and others, and being overly self-critical and evaluative in thoughts and actions. This can involve being highly critical of oneself, others, and their work, and having trouble moving on from mistakes or perceived shortcomings. Perfectionism can also result in behaviours such as procrastination, trouble delegating tasks, and an apprehension of failure.
Symptoms of perfectionism
Perfectionism can impact an individual's mental and physical health, relationships and overall well-being. If you are experiencing these symptoms, it's important to seek help from a professional.
Symptoms of perfectionism can include:
Setting excessively high standards for oneself: Individuals with perfectionism often set unrealistic and rigid standards for themselves, which can be difficult to meet.
Being overly critical of oneself: Individuals with perfectionism are often self-critical and have a hard time accepting mistakes or imperfections in their own work or behavior.
Procrastination: Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, as individuals may put off starting a task because they are afraid they will not be able to do it perfectly.
Difficulty completing tasks: Perfectionism can make it difficult for individuals to finish tasks because they are always seeking to make them perfect, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed.
Fear of failure: Perfectionism often goes hand in hand with a fear of failure, as individuals with perfectionism may feel that failure is not an option and that they must always be successful.
Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback: Individuals with perfectionism may have a hard time accepting compliments or positive feedback, as they may feel that they haven't done well enough.
Difficulty delegating tasks: Perfectionists may have a hard time trusting others to do tasks correctly, and may have a hard time delegating tasks to others.
Difficulty relaxing or engaging in leisure activities: Perfectionism can make it difficult for individuals to relax or engage in leisure activities, as they may feel that they should always be working or striving for perfection.
When should I seek help to work on symptoms of perfectionism?
While some level of perfectionism can be beneficial, as it can motivate individuals to strive for excellence, when it becomes excessive, it can lead to a number of problems.
A person should seek help to work on symptoms of perfectionism when their perfectionism starts to interfere with their daily life and well-being. Some signs that it might be time to seek help include:
Anxiety and depression: Perfectionism can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and low self-esteem.
Procrastination: Perfectionists may put off starting or completing a task, because they fear it won't be done perfectly.
Difficulty making decisions: Perfectionists may struggle to make decisions because they want everything to be perfect.
Difficulty completing tasks: Perfectionists may become overwhelmed by the high standards they set for themselves and may struggle to complete tasks.
Difficulty with relationships: Perfectionists may have difficulty in their relationships because they can be critical and demanding of others.
Burnout: Perfectionists may become fatigued and stressed due to the constant pressure to be perfect
What is the best therapy for overcoming perfectionism?
The best therapist and type of treatment for perfectionism will depend on the individual's specific needs and preferences. However, some common types of therapy that can be effective for treating perfectionism include:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT is a type of therapy that can help individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviours related to perfectionism.
CBT can help individuals with perfectionism by helping them to identify and change negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to their perfectionism. For example, individuals with perfectionism may hold rigid beliefs such as "I must always be perfect" or "I'm only worthwhile if I'm perfect". CBT can help to challenge and change these beliefs, which can reduce perfectionistic tendencies.
CBT can also help individuals to develop more realistic and flexible thinking patterns, such as "It's okay to make mistakes" or "I am still a worthwhile person even if I am not perfect."
A CBT therapist will support an individual to set realistic goals and to break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This can help individuals with perfectionism to feel more in control of their progress and to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
A CBT therapist can help a person learn strategies to manage negative emotions, such as anxiety and depression that often accompany with perfectionism. Such as relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and emotional regulation strategies.
CBT can also help individuals to learn to be more assertive and to set boundaries with others. This can be particularly important for individuals with perfectionism, who may struggle to say "no" to others or to delegate tasks.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT helps individuals learn to accept their imperfections and focus on what they can control. ACT helps individuals to develop psychological flexibility, which is the ability to be open and present in the face of difficult thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It helps a person to accept their imperfections, and to take action that is consistent with their values.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): DBT is a form of CBT that focuses on teaching individuals how to accept and cope with difficult emotions and situations.
One of the strategies used in DBT to help manage perfectionism is called "radical acceptance". This means accepting reality as it is, rather than fighting against it or trying to change it. This can be difficult for individuals with perfectionism, who often have a hard time accepting anything less than perfection. By learning to accept reality, individuals can begin to let go of their perfectionistic standards and develop a more realistic perspective.
DBT also emphasises the importance of balance. Perfectionism often involves a rigid, all-or-nothing thinking. DBT teaches individuals to find the middle ground, to balance their needs and goals with their limitations.
DBT also provides skills to improve emotional regulation, which can help individuals with perfectionism to manage their feelings of anxiety, shame and disappointment that often accompany with perfectionism.
Mindfulness-based therapies: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and yoga, can help individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings and develop a more accepting attitude towards themselves. Mindfulness can help an individual to learn to focus on the present moment and accept some imperfections. This can help to break the cycle of rumination and self-criticism that often accompanies perfectionism.
It's important to find a therapist who is well-trained and experienced in treating perfectionism, Please see below our list of experienced therapist all trained and specialising in the treatment of perfectionism.
Ultimately, the most important factor in determining the best therapist and treatment for perfectionism is finding a therapist who you feel comfortable working with and who is able to tailor a treatment plan to meet your specific needs and goals. We offer a free initial consultation ahead of starting any therapy, this allows you to check you are comfortable talking to the therapist ahead of therapy starting.
My Therapist Online can help you
If you recognise some of the symptoms above, you may benefit from speaking to one of our therapists. Our therapists are highly trained and experienced in treating problems associated with perfectionism.
Therapists who specialise in the treatment of perfectionism
Recommended Reading for overcoming problems with perfectionism
This book provides a complete solution for individuals who desire to tackle perfectionism. The book utilises cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) methods to assist readers in comprehending and confronting their perfectionist thoughts and attitudes, and in creating a healthier and more adaptable approach to themselves and their goals.
It is packed with interactive activities and real-life examples, the book offers a tangible and engaging experience for those striving to overcome perfectionism. The authors present the information in a clear and relatable manner, making the book a valuable resource for individuals of varying backgrounds seeking to improve their relationship with perfectionism and attain greater self-awareness and well-being. In conclusion, this book is a must-read for anyone seeking to overcome perfectionism.
The Perfectionism Workbook: Proven Strategies to End Procrastination, Raise Self-Esteem, and Boost Productivity - by Tom Harbin and
The Mindful Way Through Perfectionism - by Anneka Schreiber, Eric Willem, and Steven C. Hayes
The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Perfectionism - by Kirk D. Strosahl and Patricia J. Robinson.
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living - by Russ Harris - This book is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which can help individuals build psychological flexibility and learn to accept imperfections.
The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed - by Jessica Lahey - This book explores the ways in which perfectionism harms children and parents alike, and offers practical advice for how to set healthy boundaries and expectations.
The Power of Self-Compassion: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to End Self-Criticism and Build Self-Confidence - by Kristin Neff - This book focuses on the importance of self-compassion in overcoming perfectionism, and offers practical exercises and strategies for building self-compassion.
The Inner Critic Solution: A Revolutionary Mindfulness Approach to Quiet the Voice of Self-Doubt - by Karen Koenig - This book provides an in-depth look at the inner critic, a common aspect of perfectionism, and offers a mindfulness-based approach to quieting the inner critic.
We make finding the right therapist easy.
At My Therapist Online, we listen to the problems you are facing and match you with the right therapist for your individual needs. You can meet with them for a free initial consultation to be sure it is a good match before starting your therapy.
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