How to Create New Compassionate Neural Pathways
Compassion is defined by Chris Irons as “a sensitivity to the suffering of self and others, with a commitment to try to alleviate and prevent it”. So, compassion involves moving towards our distress in order to overcome it. It's not about succumbing to our distress, but rather about developing and using skills to alleviate it.
Skills to Develop Compassion
Skills that you may have already developed could include:
Soothing breathing - Using deep breathing techniques to calm the mind and body during moments of stress or distress.
Shifting your attention externally / Mindfulness - Cultivating awareness of the present moment and redirecting focus away from internal distress.
Imagery - Using visualisation techniques to evoke positive emotions and reduce negative feelings.
Gratitude Practice - Developing an appreciation for the positive aspects of life, fostering compassion for oneself and others.
Additional Compassionate Skills we will all benefit from nurturing:
Active Listening - Paying full attention to others without judgment, offering empathy and understanding.
Empathy - Understanding and sharing the feelings of others, putting yourself in their shoes.
Kindness - Being kind and understanding toward oneself during times of suffering or failure.
Assertiveness - Communicating your needs, desires, and boundaries respectfully and effectively.
Forgiveness - Letting go of resentment and bitterness toward oneself or others, promoting healing and understanding.
Generosity - Giving freely of your time, resources, and energy to help others in need.
Humility - Recognising and accepting your own limitations, being open to learning from others.
Having a booster statement or some recallable boosting statements may help us to take a compassionate step forward. When developing compassionate skills, it helps to consider the core qualities that make up compassion. These can be broken into:
Wisdom: Insight and knowledge
Caring-commitment: Warmth and kindness
Courage: Strength, inner confidence, stability, and groundedness
“Courage and strength are to compassion what roots are to a tree; they allow us to remain grounded, to tolerate and even approach suffering without being blown over.” - Chris Irons
The Power of Compassionate Statements
A short and pithy compassionate statement can be easier to access. Repeating compassionate statements is like training your brain towards more positive, empowering thinking, just like physical training shapes your muscles. Creating simple and accessible compassionate statements, even simple phrases like “I am capable” or “I deserve love,” can work behind the scenes to create a positive, empowering, and altogether more compassionate internal narrative about yourself that helps to boost resilience.
We are more likely to access and use statements that are short, powerful, and “pithy." This ensures they are easy to remember and practical for daily use, particularly during challenging or stressful situations. Imagine you're nervous before a big meeting. Having a short, impactful phrase such as “I am capable” can serve as a quick boost to your soothing system, confidence, and self-esteem, helping you shift your mindset to best help you as you step towards the task at hand with courage.
Here are a few examples of short compassionate statements:
“I have the power to calm myself.”
“I can use the coping skills I have learned - I can cope.”
“I am capable of overcoming challenges.”
“I am worthy of happiness.”
“I am stronger than I think I am.”
“I can make room for all my emotions; they do not define me.”
“I am strong in my struggles.”
Understanding Neuroplasticity and Compassion
The brain has the remarkable ability to change and adapt in response to new experiences, a process known as neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity allows us to create new neural pathways. When it comes to developing a more compassionate internal narrative, this neuroplasticity is key. By consistently practicing compassionate thinking and using specific techniques, we can strengthen the neural connections associated with these positive thoughts and behaviours.
Why Creating New Neural Pathways is Important
Reinforces Positive Thinking: Just like physical training helps shape our muscles, repeating compassionate statements can shape our brain. This consistent practice strengthens the neural pathways associated with compassion, making it easier and more natural to access these thoughts over time.
Reduces Negative Bias: Our brains are wired to focus on negative experiences as a survival mechanism. By creating and reinforcing new, positive neural pathways, we can counterbalance this negative bias, leading to a more balanced and optimistic outlook.
Improves Emotional Regulation: Strengthening compassionate neural pathways helps improve our ability to manage and respond to distressing emotions. This makes us more resilient in the face of challenges and better able to cope with stress.
Techniques to Create New Neural Pathways
Here are some ways to help us create new neural pathways:
Repetition of Compassionate Statements - Regularly repeating short, pithy compassionate statements such as “I am capable” or “I deserve love” can help to solidify these thoughts in your mind. The more you repeat these statements, the stronger the associated neural pathways become.
Writing Down Compassionate Statements - Keeping a journal or a list of compassionate statements can help in processing and reinforcing them. Writing them down makes these statements more tangible and memorable, aiding in their internalisation and practical application during challenging times.
Mindfulness and Meditation - Practices like mindfulness and meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. This awareness allows you to consciously redirect your focus to compassionate thoughts, further reinforcing those neural pathways.
Visualisation / Imagery - Imagining yourself acting with compassion or visualising positive outcomes can help create and strengthen neural pathways. This technique leverages the brain's ability to simulate experiences, which can be nearly as effective as actual practice.
Engaging in Compassionate Actions - Carrying out acts of kindness and compassion towards others can also strengthen neural pathways related to compassion. The more you engage in these behaviours, the more natural they become.
Positive Social Interactions - Surrounding yourself with compassionate people and engaging in supportive social interactions can reinforce compassionate neural pathways. Positive social environments provide opportunities to practice and observe compassionate behaviours.
If we can consistently practice these techniques, we can retrain our brains to have a more compassionate internal narrative. Over time, these new neural pathways will become stronger and more automatic, making compassion an integral part of our thought patterns and emotional responses.
Final Thoughts
By embracing the principles of compassion and consistently practicing the techniques discussed in this article, you have the power to reshape your brain and cultivate a more compassionate internal narrative. Remember, creating new neural pathways is a journey that requires patience and persistence. Every time you repeat a compassionate statement, engage in mindfulness, visualise positive outcomes, or write down your thoughts, you are reinforcing these pathways.
Compassion towards yourself is not just a concept; it’s a skill you can develop and strengthen over time. With each compassionate action and thought, you are building resilience, enhancing emotional regulation, and fostering a more positive and balanced mindset. As Chris Irons wisely stated, “Courage and strength are to compassion what roots are to a tree; they allow us to remain grounded, to tolerate and even approach suffering without being blown over.”
Empower yourself today by starting with a simple, pithy statement like “I am capable.” Let these words guide you through challenges and remind you of your inherent strength and worthiness. With dedication and practice, compassion can become a natural, integral part of who you are, enriching your life and the lives of those around you.
So, take that compassionate step forward. Your journey to a kinder, more resilient self begins now.
Written by Lisa Johnston
Accredited CBT Therapist and EMDR Therapist
Clinical Director My Therapist Online
Images used throughout article - Pexels.com