Building Confidence to Break Free from OCD
Just as stabilisers provide support and prevent the bike from tipping over, safety behaviours in OCD offer a sense of control and temporary relief from anxiety.
What are safety behaviours in OCD?
First off, lets make sure that we are fully on the same page here. Safety behaviours (or I often refer to them as safety seeking behaviours - SSBs) in OCD are actions or mental strategies used to reduce anxiety or prevent feared outcomes triggered by obsessions.
While SSBs may offer temporary relief, these behaviours reinforce the cycle of OCD by preventing individuals from learning that their fears are often unfounded or manageable.
Safety behaviours can be overt (visible actions) or covert (internal or mental behaviours). Both types are counterproductive in the long term as they maintain the disorder.
Examples of Safety Behaviours in OCD:
Overt (Visible) Safety Behaviours:
Checking: Repeatedly ensuring doors are locked, appliances are off, or items are in the "correct" position.
Reassurance-Seeking: Asking others for confirmation that nothing bad will happen or that an action was done correctly.
Avoidance: Staying away from people, places, or situations that may trigger obsessions (e.g., avoiding public toilets due to contamination fears).
Covert (Mental) Safety Behaviours:
Mentally Checking/Replaying: Rewinding events in your mind to ensure nothing harmful happened or that you didn’t make a mistake.
Neutralising: Using "safe" thoughts or phrases to counteract distressing thoughts (e.g., repeating a mantra or silently saying, "It’s okay, nothing will happen").
Reviewing/Overthinking: Going over decisions, conversations, or actions repeatedly to ensure you didn’t offend someone or make an error.
By recognising these behaviours as part of the OCD cycle, we can begin to address them through treatment, such as Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which supports you to facing fears without relying on safety behaviours. This approach helps reduce the power of obsessions and build confidence in managing anxiety.
To read more about OCD please head to other articles written such as:
How removing the Stabilisers helps to overcome OCD
Just as a child eventually needs to remove the stabilisers to learn how to ride a bike independently, you also need to gradually reduce your reliance on safety behaviours to gain mastery over your obsessions and anxieties.
In ERP treatment, the goal is to help you gradually remove the stabilisers—your safety behaviours—and learn to balance and navigate life without them. Through exposure exercises and response prevention, you face your fears directly and resist the urge to engage in rituals, compulsions, or avoidance.
““By letting go, you gain control over the uncontrollable.” ”
As you let go of the stabilisers, you develop your skills in managing uncertainty, tolerating discomfort, and resisting the urge to rely on safety behaviours. You’ll discover that you have the ability to navigate your obsessions and anxieties independently, just as a child learns to ride a bike confidently without stabilisers.
The metaphor of bike stabilisers highlights the temporary nature of safety behaviours and why reducing them is so important in OCD treatment. It emphasises building resilience and acquiring the skills to face fears and manage anxiety without relying on rituals or avoidance.
By embracing this process, you can begin to understand the purpose of reducing safety behaviours and take on the challenge of riding your "mental bike" without stabilisers. Gradually letting go allows you to gain confidence, independence, and the ability to overcome your OCD symptoms.
Building Confidence Without Stabilisers (SSBs)
You may have come across advice suggesting that the complete removal of safety behaviours is the key to overcoming OCD or other anxiety disorders like Emetophobia. While this is supported by evidence-based practice, the journey to achieving this is unique for everyone. A skilled therapist can guide you through this process, helping you build the necessary skills and confidence to gradually let go of safety behaviours, at a pace that works best for you.
““You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.””
The goal of ERP therapy isn’t to push you too far, too fast. That would simply be counter therapeutic, and you might be unlikely to continue along the road of recovery if things go at the wrong pace for you to process the information you are learning as you move forwards.
Instead, it’s about gradually learning that you can manage discomfort, uncertainty, and anxiety without relying on safety-seeking behaviours. Just as a child progresses toward cycling without stabilisers by building confidence and strength over time, you can learn to navigate life without the crutch of safety behaviours.
By taking these steps, you can build resilience, trust in your ability to face fears, and ultimately gain freedom from the constraints of OCD or anxiety. Therapy provides the tools, guidance, and support needed to make this journey as effective and empowering as possible.
There are many ways to build the confidence to remove Safety Behaviours.
Bare with me as we continue to use the metaphor of stabilisers… it’s important to understand that there are many ways to build your stability before you’re ready to cycle independently.
For some, it might involve practising balance by using just one stabiliser at first. For others, it could mean working on strengthening confidence and resilience before fully removing the stabilisers. These steps are essential to feeling capable and secure enough to let go of safety-seeking behaviours (SSBs) entirely.
In therapy, this might look like:
Behavioural Experiments
Gradually testing out situations to gather evidence that challenges the perceived need for stabilisers. For example, intentionally reducing a specific safety behaviour and observing that feared outcomes don’t materialise.Compassionate Self-Talk
Developing internal dialogue that is kind, supportive, and grounded in reality. This helps to replace the self-critical or anxious thoughts that often drive the need for safety behaviours.Challenging Outdated Beliefs
Using CBT techniques to identify and reframe old, unhelpful beliefs about control, danger, or responsibility that reinforce the reliance on safety behaviours.Values-Driven Motivation (ACT Approach)
Identifying your "why" for reducing safety-seeking behaviours. What matters most to you in life? Is it building deeper connections with loved ones, achieving personal growth, or living with greater freedom? Clarifying your values provides a powerful motivation to face the discomfort of letting go of SSBs, as it helps align your actions with what truly matters to you.By focusing on your values, you can shift the narrative from “I must do this to reduce anxiety” to “I am doing this because it allows me to live the life I want.” This values-driven approach offers a sense of purpose and resilience throughout the process of reducing safety behaviours.
““The only way to grow is to step outside your comfort zone. Embrace the discomfort—it’s where most wonderful change and growth happens.””
The metaphor of bike stabilisers highlights the temporary nature of safety behaviours and their role in maintaining OCD symptoms. While safety-seeking behaviours may offer a sense of relief in the moment, they ultimately keep you stuck in the cycle of anxiety and avoidance. The process of gradually reducing these behaviours in therapy is about more than just managing OCD—it’s about reclaiming your life and discovering your strength.
In ERP therapy, a skilled therapist will set a pace that is tailored to your unique needs, ensuring you feel supported as you learn to face fears and tolerate uncertainty. Each step, no matter how small, is a victory that builds your confidence and resilience. As you take on the challenge of riding your "bike" without stabilisers, you’ll find that freedom from OCD is possible.
By focusing on gradual, values-driven progress, you can develop the tools to manage anxiety, confront obsessions, and create a life that aligns with what matters most to you. Therapy isn’t just about removing safety behaviours—it’s about building a foundation of independence, confidence, and hope.
If you’re ready to take the first step toward breaking free from OCD, reach out to a trained therapist. With the right guidance, you can move forward at your own pace and embrace a future unburdened by the constraints of OCD.
The My Therapist Online team of experts are here to help.
With care and compassion,
Lisa Johnston
BABCP Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and EMDR Therapist
Clinical Director | My Therapist Online
